echo
by b4k4-girl
Summary: Iruka reminisces about happier times when life was so much more simple and tries to figure out where things went wrong...Kakairu, shounen-ai, and all the rest
1. At The Top

**...DISCLAIMER...** yeah all the usual about me not owning naruto or any of its characters. you know the story.  
right this was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot songfic, but it started to get REALLY long so ive decided to cut it down into more manageable chunks. This chapter is more an introduction than anything else, as most of the story is told in flashback mode. HUGE THANKIES and lots of pressies to the awesome shi-chan for helping me with ideas for this when i was soo stuck :) gotta luv her. youll find the songs lyrics at the bottom of the page. enjoy!

* * *

There's a figure on the cliff top.   
  
It stands, silhouetted against the moon, a faint breeze lifting its hair in its ponytail, wispy tendrils framing a slim and angular face. A hand comes up and yanks the offending strands back before swiping a fist roughly over its cheek.  
  
The moonlight casts a grey shadow on the monument, catching a faint trace of what might have been a tear on the figure's face.  
  
_Close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by…  
_  
A faint choking sound escapes the figure's lips as it turns its head up to the silver orb in the sky.  
  
_There is no time  
To waste, Asking why…  
_  
"I gave myself to you." The figure whispers. "I thought you'd given me something in return. I would have done anything for you. "  
  
_I'll run away with you, by my side…  
_  
The figure lowers its head and gazes at the rough stone at its feet, watching small grey smudges appear as tears hit the dusty surface.  
  
"But it wasn't enough, was it?"  
  
_I think about your face…_  
  
The figure closes his eyes, a pained expression crossing his tanned features. He thinks back to before - back to nights much like this, warm and quiet, sultry even. It was a night like this he first encountered the person who was to make his heart skip a beat, his head swim and his knees weaken with every tiny glance. Eyes so cold your soul would freeze but he would burn scarlet when they lingered on him for even a fraction of a second. He squeezed his eyes tight shut and rubbed his nose, feeling the thin line of the scar that sat across the bridge. He had promised himself he would not cry, that he would not waste his tears or time on them anymore. But thoughts still lingered in his mind, drifting through when he least expected it, like in the depth of night when sleep evaded him.   
  
Nights like this.  
  
_And how I fall into your eyes...  
_  
He recalled their last night together - hot, lazy...tangled sheets and sweaty limbs, fleeting fingers and teasing lips. Moans and whimpers building into a crescendo of screams that pulled the night apart before collapsing in on itself to become a slow languid bliss that left them breathless, lying in each others arms. He had lifted his head and stared drowsily at his partner, who had smiled down at him, whispering in his ear, "I love you, Iruka-kun. Remember that. No matter what, I'll always love you." At that time, Iruka hadn't paid any attention to what his bedmate said for he was slowly succumbing to the blissfully deep sleep that their voice always lulled him into. His last feeling was soft lips upon his before the darkness took him.  
  
_The outline that I trace  
Around the one that I call mine…_  
  
But then the day came again and as the light burned his eyes, he rolled, expecting to meet a warm body waiting to envelop him in its arms Instead, he was shunted awake by the cruel feeling of cold sheets against his bare skin and as his eyes struggled to focus, his hands slid over the empty expanse of sheets and closed around a single sheet of paper.  
  
_Time that called for space  
Unclear where you drew the line…  
_  
Tears blur his eyes again as he sits down heavily upon the fourth's head. He holds his head in his hands and casts his mind back further to a night more memorable than the last. The first night... 

**TBC**

**

* * *

**"Echo" - Trapt

Close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by  
There is no time  
To waste, Asking why  
  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride  
  
I think about your face  
And how I fall into your eyes  
The outline that I trace  
Around the one that I call mine  
Time that called for space  
Unclear where you drew the line  
I don't need to solve this case  
And I don't need to look behind  
  
Close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by  
There is no time  
To waste, Asking why  
  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride  
  
Do I expect to change  
The past I hold inside  
With all the words I say  
Repeating over in my mind  
Some things you can't erase  
No matter how hard you try  
An exit to escape  
Is all there is left to find  
  
Close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by  
There is no time  
To waste, Asking why  
  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride  
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind  
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside  
  
So I close my eyes  
Let the whole thing pass me by  
There is no time  
To waste, Asking why  
  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I'll run away with you, by my side  
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride  
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in my mind  
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside

* * *

I apologise wholeheartedly for how short this chapter is.....gomen! like i said, its only supposed to be the introduction....for sanity's sake, ill include a sort of story code. Like present tense-well, the present! past tense denotes flashback mode, although obviously this will be mentioned :) sigh, im so disorganized! 


	2. Chapter 1: Before

**...THE DISCLAIMER...** naruto isnt mine, never has been, never will be.  
okey doke folks, this is the first chapter proper. This is much more in-depth chapter, but i MUST remind you all that this whole chapter is essentially a flashback, so youre not confused next chapter when it suddenly turns into present tense! lol i like to write confusing fics :) its also rather fluffy. yay! i should also mention that it flashes back quite a few years so the characters are a bit younger than in the rest of the fic.

_Italics _denote thought and song lyrics, but dont worry you'll be able to tell the difference :)  
on with the show! yeehah!

* * *

**Chapter 1: Before**

****

...Tears blur his eyes again as he sits down heavily upon the fourth's head. He holds his head in his hands and casts his mind back further to a night more memorable than the last. The first night...  
  
[**flashback**]

It had been a VERY long day for Iruka. The children had been having an extremely restless day, knowing that today was one of the last days before the holidays began. Iruka had been trying to cram in as much last-minute study as he could but the children were too full of the joys of summer and getting them to pay attention left the young chuunin exhausted. Rather than make feeble attempts at conversation with his fellow teachers at break time, he opted instead to take his coffee back to the classroom for some much needed peace and quiet. _And it'll give me a chance to start all that marking_, he thought wearily. He had been a bad little sensei recently and had fallen behind on the usual stream of tests, homework and miscellaneous other paperwork that went with the job, and as a result, he hadn't been sleeping nearly as much as he needed to function rationally. He grimaced inwardly as he shut and locked the door behind him, letting out a small sigh as he sipped his coffee and glanced down at the pile of homework and test papers lying on his desk and found he couldn't face it. He sat down and let his head sink onto his arms on the desk. "Five minutes", he mumbled. "Five minutes and I'll be right as rain."  
  
A good bit more than five minutes later, a sharp tap on the shoulder brought Iruka back from Never-never land with a rather large fright. Sleep threatened to drag him back under but after a brief scuffle little inner-teacher-Iruka kicked his ass back to the sandman and Iruka grunted slightly as he turned to face a frightened blonde child. The boys face swam into focus.  
  
"Whaa-? Naruto? Why are you inside, and not out in the grounds?" He questioned. "You know you're not supposed to be inside at break time!"  
  
Naruto's face creased in a bewildered frown, looking at his sensei as though he had just asked him why wasn't wearing his underpants on his head.  
  
"Ne, Iruka-sensei! It's not breaktime anymore, so we came in." His face split into a grin. "You were asleep!"  
  
Iruka grimaced and rubbed his eyes as he shakily stood up. He muzzily wondered how long he'd been out for. _GACK_! A look at his watch told him he'd been out for Forty-five minutes. _Forty-five minutes! Break only lasts half an hour!_ He looked down at the blonde boy and fixed his face into a stern frown.  
  
"Naruto, if you knew I was asleep, why did you not wake me earlier?" he queried, raising one eyebrow. He lifted his head to look at the rest of the class, and saw they were all squirming in their seats, not quite looking him in the eye. _What on earth is going on here,_ he thought to himself. _It's not like the kids to be so … quiet._ He turned his attention back to Naruto, who was shifting from one foot to the other. He opened and closed his mouth as though searching for the right words. Finally he settled on, "Kakashi-sensei told us not to."   
  
Now Iruka was totally lost. Why in the name of all that is holy would he do that?! He decided to see if the child had any more information.  
  
"Kakashi-sensei didn't happen to say WHY you weren't to wake me, did he?" he asked in a dangerously civilised tone of voice. Iruka was generally a mild-mannered young man but he disliked anything that interfered with his work. He had a reputation for being hard-working and THIS was going to be a black mark on his otherwise perfect record. He sighed inwardly. The other teachers would have a field day with this.  
He relaxed suddenly. He saw how agitated Naruto had become and decided to chill a little. After all, it wasn't the boy's fault, now was it? The children had all heard of the great Copy Cat ninja so they were unlikely to disobey an order. He strode to the front of the room and began making notes on the blackboard.  
  
"All right class, copy these down and when you're done, you can go home. Let's call it an end-of-term treat." He smiled but deep down he knew he had done it to give him more time to work through the ever-increasing pile of work on his desk...  
  
Iruka gratefully closed and locked the classroom door as the last student skipped happily through it and leaned his aching head against the cool wood. He really needed to get more sleep. Luckily, once this final pile of marking was done, it would be his last. Then the holidays began and he could relax for a while before it all started anew. A sharp pain hit his temple as he though of this. _Stupid, stupid Iruka! Don't give yourself more problems_, he silently berated himself as he lowered his stiff frame into the soft leather-padded chair and pulled a few sheets of paper towards him. He lifted his marking pen and twiddled it in his fingers for a bit, then put it down again and pulled off his hitai-ate headband and chuunin vest. Nope, still not comfy. Something was nagging him and he couldn't relax to concentrate on his work because of it. And he had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what it was.  
  
Its name was Kakashi.  
  
Being a lowly teacher, and a lowly CHUUNIN teacher at that, he only really knew Kakashi through word of mouth. Sure, he had seen him about here and there, but he had never broken breath to the guy so he was stumped for reasons as to why he left him asleep. He scratched his now stubbly chin in thought. Suddenly a little light bulb clicked on inside his brain. _I know! He probably thought it would be amusing to make fun of the chuunin, him being a high-and-mighty jounin and everything. Yeah, that must be it!_ Content in his new reasoning, Iruka switched on his desk lamp and got to work.  
  
Of course, had Iruka slept more than 4 hours that week and been his usual fair, rational self, he would have realised this was absurd. No ninja would stoop so low as to try to ruin another's career just for kicks. But of course, if Iruka had realised this, this story would be over a hell of a lot sooner...  
  
It was 5 long hours later than the door of the classroom creaked open, admitting none other than the aforementioned Kakashi who, after pausing to lean on the door doorframe for a moment or two, padded silently to the desk, turned off the lamp and stopped only to shove Iruka's belongings and paperwork into a bag. He then lifted the chuunin from his seat and carried him curled in his arms out the door and back to his apartment.  
  
The scent of freshly brewed coffee tickled Iruka's nose and in the half-awake/half-asleep haze he could feel a small stream of drool leak out of his mouth. He flailed uselessly at his face with still-asleep hands, nearly breaking his nose and poking himself in the eye before a firm but gentle hand restrained him.  
  
"Here, let me get that for you."  
  
He felt a thumb graze his cheek and mentally begged his sleep-stuck eyes to open. After a brief internal struggle, coffee and curiosity won over blissful ignorance and he finally opened his eyes to stare into those of one Hatake Kakashi.  
  
He almost wished he had stayed asleep.  
  
But luckily for Kakashi, he was one of those people who are not quite human until that first joyous cup of coffee after waking up passes their lips. Iruka's little mini freak-out was postponed, so instead, he settled for fixing his face into what he hoped was a polite grimace and asked, "What are you doing here, Kakashi-sensei?" Ok, so he knew he probably looked like a gormless idiot, but he really didn't care. He STILL hadn't got enough sleep, there was a stranger in what turned out - after a quick glance around - to be HIS house and worse still, he hadn't finished the marking the previous night and it needed to be handed in that day. The coffee cup Kakashi had literally just pushed into his hand flew as he shot to his feet and began to panic.  
  
"OHMYGOD! The marking! It needs to be done for this morning! Oh my god what time is it? Oh my ass is TOAST!" He went to dash away (although he had no idea where he was going, he just hoped the marking would be there when he got there), when Kakashi grabbed him by the shoulders and lowered him to the couch. Iruka was vaguely aware of the large coffee stain spreading across his wooden floor but he was too caught up in the intensity of the Jounins gaze to notice. Their eyes didn't break contact as Kakashi opened his mouth, hidden by his mask, and spoke.  
  
"Firstly, it could only loosely be called this morning because, as you can see, it's still dark," He gestured to the black window. "Which means that you would still have time for your marking if," here he waved a hand toward a neat pile of paper on the coffee table, "I hadn't already done it."

Without another word he stood up and walked to the broken porcelain, carefully picking up the shards and carrying them through to the kitchen, leaving Iruka sitting there, gob-smacked. His face went through a variety of different expressions from shock, to surprise, to confusion - yeah, confusion is good, stick with that. He decided there was no point in wondering what was going on, he might as well just ask. With that thought in mind he jogged into the kitchen where Kakashi was wrapping the fragments of cup in tissue before putting them in the bin. He didn't turn when Iruka entered the room.  
  
"Umm - Kakashi-sensei? Could you fill me in a little on what's going on here? I mean, why did you do my work? And how did I get home?" He had barely got the questions out his mouth when Kakashi simply sidestepped around him and out into the living room, cloth in hand.   
  
"Hey! I'm trying to talk to you!" Iruka reached out and, still being a ninja and all and thus owning super-fast reflexes, grabbed Kakashi's wrist. The jounin spun round and stared Iruka straight in the eye. It was only now Iruka noticed how tired Kakashi looked. He had taken off his vest and he had dark circles around his eyes - hang on, eyes plural? It hit Iruka that Kakashi wasn't wearing his hitai-ate headband and his Sharingan eye was on full display. Iruka had never seen it, only heard of it and he flinched slightly when he caught sight of it. Kakashi seemed to pick up on this as he yanked his arm from Iruka's grasp and walked off, stooping to mop up the spilled liquid. It was only now he finally answered Iruka's question.  
  
"I brought you home. I was at the school and I saw a light on in your classroom and decided to investigate and there you were, out like a light. I couldn't just leave you there so I brought you back here. What's the big deal?" He tossed the cloth from hand to hand as he spoke, walking slowly toward the kitchen door again. Iruka manoeuvred and blocked his way.  
  
"I'm sorry to sound forward Kakashi-sensei, but it's a big deal to me! I mean, I don't even know you! How did you know where I lived? And how did you bring me here if I was asleep? What did you do, carry me?" His small chuckle died in his throat as he saw the serious expression on the older shinobi's face. Kakashi took a few steps toward Iruka, who backed off until he was against the wall by the doorway. Funny thing was, Kakashi didn't stop walking towards him. They were almost touching when Kakashi dropped the cloth abruptly at his feet and thrust out his arms, one either side of Iruka, essentially pinning the chuunin to the wall. His drowsy, heavy-lidded eyes locked with Iruka's and his voice dropped to a low murmur.  
  
"That's exactly what I did."   
  
Iruka's eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth a few times but only succeeded in doing a fantastic impression of a fish. He had no idea what to say to this statement except, in a very high voice, "Thanks very much!"  
  
So that cleared that up. Iruka couldn't pretend he didn't find a man of nineteen being carried home by a slightly senior comrade more than a little strange. I mean, that's a bit - what's the word? He raked his mind desperately to find a word to convey how Kakashi's actions made him feel. Well, if he was being completely honest with himself, it seemed a little … soft! He was a ninja for crying out loud! He didn't need to be carried by anyone, and told Kakashi as much in no uncertain terms.  
  
Kakashi merely chuckled a little. "Well, it was either that or drag you by your ponytail and I doubt you would have been any happier with that!" He raised an eyebrow. "Besides, you looked so cute that I couldn't bear to wake you. You looked like a baby in my arms..." his voice trailed off into silence and if Iruka hadn't frozen inside at the mention of the word "cute" he would have noticed the flicker of sadness that passed over Kakashi's elegant face. He made a few more fish faces before reclaiming his voice.  
  
"You - you think - you think I'm CUTE?!" His voice rose a whole octave on the last word. First of all, a complete stranger had just walked into his house and was now proclaiming him to be CUTE and secondly, said complete stranger was a guy! Iruka knew he should be freaked out, but strangely he wasn't. He actually felt ... happy! A little part of him was thrilled with the compliment. But his moment of joy was snuffed out when, with a slight groan, Kakashi twisted around till he was leaning on the wall next to Iruka, and, dropping his head to his chest, slid silently down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, knees drawn up and head on his arms. As Iruka stared down a faint voice floated up to his ears.   
  
"This isn't how I'd planned for you to find out, Iruka. Actually if I'd had my way, you would never have found out, but -" here his voice cracked and Iruka was shocked to see the shinobi's shoulders were shaking. He didn't need to be able to see Kakashi's face to tell that he was crying.   
  
"But just - just holding you - it's a feeling I've craved for so long. I couldn't…" He broke down completely, his next sentence lost in the silent sobs.  
  
Iruka's mind was numb. He only had the vaguest idea what Kakashi was talking about, and was terrified of doing the wrong thing. He desperately wanted to comfort the distressed ninja but what was the best way to do it? _Well, he did say something about holding me..._  
  
Iruka didn't think about his actions. Or the consequences. His head was full of nothing but sympathy for the man on the floor. Kneeling before him, he lifted his arms from his knees and although he didn't raise his head, Kakashi allowed his arms to be placed at his sides. Iruka slid closer to him, between his raised knees, and placed a hand under the jounin's chin. But Kakashi was immovable as stone and would not raise his head.   
  
"Don't look at me," he said in a barely audible whisper. "I don't want you to see me."  
  
Iruka decided not to press any further. Instead he decided actions spoke louder than words and, sliding himself closer still, placed his arms around Kakashi's neck and held him tight. He spoke gently in Kakashi's ear. "You couldn't what, Kakashi-sensei?"  
  
Kakashi sniffed a little before replying. "I - I couldn't handle the thought of - of another day going by without - without you knowing I love you."  
  
Iruka's heart twisted. He had never though of this as a possibility. His life had been fairly emotion-empty since his parents died and although he craved the sort of love and protection they had given him, he had never met anyone he thought capable of giving it and had resigned himself to the fact he probably never would. But here, on his living room floor, between the sideboard and the open kitchen doorway, he felt warm and safe and protected. He had never dreamed it would come from any man, let alone the one before him, but he didn't care!  
  
"I love you too Kakashi-sensei."  
  
The silent sobs halted, and the shaking subsided. A twitch and then suddenly Iruka was enveloped, strong arms pulling him as close as humanly possible. He sat down between Kakashi's legs and rested his head on the jounin's chest, and revelled in the warm embrace. The heaving of Kakashi's chest soon subsided and his voice came back, a little shaky, but clear.  
  
"I've watched you. For 6 long months, I've watched you. I would watch you in school, and when you were out in the field with the kids, and when you were on your way home. I spent every last moment looking at you, just drinking you in. I never thought I could have any more than that, and now look! I'm drowning in you..."  
  
Iruka digested this. Ok, so he sounded like a crazy stalker, but he didn't mind. He shifted a little and closed his eyes. _I should overwork myself a little more often, he smiled..._

__   
  
Dawn broke, and Konoha awoke.  
  
Parents roused their stubborn offspring for school. Day watch ninjas relieved their exhausted nighttime counterparts. Jounins and Chuunins greeted each other in the street as they made their way to the school and offices and market traders set up their stalls, ready to sell their wares. In every house, on every street, in every part of the village, people were waking up and preparing for a hard day's work, everyone carrying on the same as every other day.  
  
Well, almost everyone.  
  
In a small apartment, in a corner between the sideboard and the open kitchen doorway, two people sat on the floor, wrapped inextricably in each other's limbs and oblivious to the flurry of activity outside the sunlit windows. The sunlight glinted off the hair of the larger figure against the wall, staining the silver threads golden yellow as his head rested on that of the smaller brunette curled up in his arms. A soft sigh escaped Iruka's lips as he shifted slightly from his position between Kakashi's legs and ran his hand over the jounin's stomach under the heavy fabric of his sweater. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light of the orange-bathed room. He reckoned it was about time to get to the school to hand in his work. His fingers lightly traced the lines of the scars on Kakashi's belly and he grinned quietly to himself. He didn't actually have any classes today. He could hand the papers in any time today, and after that he was young and free again. He heard Kakashi let out a soft snore as he tightened his hold on Iruka, who yawned and closed his eyes, thinking of the four magical, paper-work free weeks ahead of him and wondering exactly how Kakashi could help him fill his time...

_I'll run away with you by my side...._

[**e****nd flashback**]

* * *

WOOHOO! chapter one all done! i hope it made sense....erk! lol  
very many more thanks to my beta-reader shi-chan for making this readable :)


	3. Chapter 2: Cupboard Love

this carried on directly from chapter 1, as you may have guessed. its still a songfic, remember! heres a little key:  
_this is a thought  
**this is a song lyric**_

there! that was easy, wasnt it?

* * *

**Chapter 2: Cupboard Love**

_**I'll run away with you, by my side...**_  
  
A figure walks down the street.  
  
He walks into the streetlights glare, blinking hard as it burns his sleep- deprived eyes. He rubs them and winces, adding to the raw red circles once again. His aching feet carry him towards the school building; his tired hands pull his green flak jacket tighter around his slight frame as a gust of wind tosses the dust on the ground. It's late summer and not particularly cold, but lack of sleep and a healthy diet has left our figure weak. He reaches the building and pauses, looking at the trees circling the practice area before advancing, jangling a bunch of keys in his hand.  
  
"I suppose I could get everything ready for tomorrows lesson. Might knock me out, finally," he mutters to himself as he works a key into the lock. Suddenly, his head jerks up just as the lock clicks and the door swings open, and he glances back over his shoulder towards the dark trees. "Hmm. Thought I heard something." He frowns then shrugs, entering the deserted classroom and closing the door behind him but not bothering to lock it. "After all, who would be following me?" He laughs softly to himself before sniffing hard and crossing the room to the supply cupboard.  
  
The children have shuriken-throwing practice in the morning, one of Iruka's least favorite exercises. He sighs heavily as he reaches up and pulls down a large crate of practice weapons. The cupboard is dark and dank, heavy with the musty stench of dust. He drops the box and removes one of the small metal stars, turning it over in his slim fingers as his eyes mist over when yet another memory, not quite as dust-coated as the contents of this cupboard but at the back of the memorial shelf nonetheless brings itself before his mind's eye.  
  
**_I'll run away with you, by my side..._**  
  
--------------------------------  
  
[flashback]  
  
"Come on Shikamaru, you could at least TRY to aim for the target!"  
  
"But Iruka-sensei, I can't be bothered!"  
  
Iruka rubbed his temples and tried to keep his temper. The talent this child had was obvious, it was practically oozing out his ears, but he was just so damn LAZY! Iruka pitied his poor mother, getting this child up in the mornings must be like pulling teeth! Sighing heavily, he made his way over to the target the boy was SUPPOSED to be aiming for and continued walking past it for several meters before finally finding the errant shuriken in the grass. He turned to trudge back to the field, but stopped when he spied the tall slender figure of a certain silver-haired shinobi standing a few yards away, clutching an orange-colored book in one hand and a large summer daisy in the other. The heady afternoon sunlight coated his hair with streaks of gold as he raised his eyes from the book and caught the chuunin staring. In a slow movement, he pulled his mask down and ran his tongue across his lips then tapped the page the book was open at, winking slyly and placing the flower between the pages as if marking the page. Iruka picked his jaw up off the ground after a few moments and hurried back to the children, turning his back on Kakashi.  
  
"Rightnowcomeonkidsgetallthisawayandgetbackinsideitsalmostbreaktime!!" he gabbled while frantically waving his arms in a "hurry hurry" motion. The kids threw him scared and bewildered looks as they dashed around grabbing the weapons. A small girl piped up, "But Iruka-sensei, lesson isn't supposed to end for another 10 minutes!" but yelped and scurried away when Iruka rounded on her with a shrill "DO IT!"  
  
What had happened to their normally calm teacher, who was normally as placid as a lake on a windless day? Well, only two people knew the answer to that one, and one looked on in mild amusement as the other ran around like a headless chicken. At last, the final star was packed safely in its box and the children had ran indoors as fast as they could, glad it was now time to escape the clutches of their psychotic sensei for the thirty minutes of break. Iruka wiped his sweating brow and let out a small sigh of relief, turning to the expanse of grass Kakashi had been standing on minutes earlier, and paling when he found nothing there but thin air. Where'd he go? He thought frantically. Since they had gotten together, Kakashi had developed a nasty habit of turning up where the chuunin least expected it and had nearly gotten them caught on more than one occasion. Iruka wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Kakashi, but he had a reputation to uphold and being caught in a "compromising position" wouldn't exactly make him a hit with the parents, whether his partner was male or not!  
  
He frowned then turned to make his way back into the school building, but his progress was sharply halted when he walked straight into a green-clad chest and fell backwards onto the green-clad earth, banging his head painfully. His vision blurred to black for a second and little tweety birds chirped happily before his eyes as a concerned face swam into focus.  
  
_Wow, that must've been quite a bump I took there...for a second I thought I saw Kakashi staring at me._  
  
"Are you alright, Iruka?" the voice spoke. It sounded agitated and worried.  
  
_Ugh, must've been REALLY bad, now I'm HEARING Kakashi as well!  
_  
"Y-yeah, I'm fine...I think" He let the voices owner pull him unsteadily to his feet, but his legs shook and he fell against their chest again.  
  
"Just where I wanted you." Iruka slowly lifted his head and stared into the smiling features of Hatake Kakashi. _Oh great_.  
  
Iruka extricated himself from the jounin's grip, his usual business-like persona returning. He brushed down the behind of his trousers and stooped down to retrieve the fallen box of weapons, straightening back up with a snap and a shrill yelp as a painful pinch was placed on his rear end. He turned on Kakashi with an angry look on his face, an ire worsened by the jounin's constant playful smirk. The back of his head throbbed as he ground his teeth together.  
  
"Kakashi, PLEASE don't carry on like this when i'm at work! It's not fair! I've warned you! Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to get these tidied away before break ends. It won't do for the children to see their sensei slacking off, now will it?" He gave Kakashi a death glare before turning on his heel and storming back into the building. As he stomped through the corridors, other teachers and students leapt out his way and began whispering as soon as he had passed:  
  
"What's got up HIS nose?"  
  
"Who rattled HIS cage?!"  
  
and the like.  
  
When Iruka reached the classroom, he planted his sandal firmly on the wood and kicked with all his might, sliding through the gap just as the door, which had hit the wall and rebounded, slammed back into its frame. Throwing the door of the supplies store open, he flung the box on the nearest shelf and opened and closed his fists a few times, counting to ten over and over in an attempt to contain his temper. _That Kakashi! Who the hell does he think he is?_ He punched a nearby practice dummy, ripping out a handful of stuffing, and repeated the phrase out loud.  
  
"Who, me?"  
  
Iruka whirled round as he heard the voice. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME FIRED!" Iruka hissed vehemently. Kakashi just chuckled and slid the lock on the door into place before sliding his mask down his angular face.  
  
"Hmm, well, I think I'm doing this - " he crossed the few feet of space between the two ninjas and seized Iruka's arms, kissing him hard on the lips. Iruka was in no mood for playing and told Kakashi this by biting him hard on the bottom lip. Unfortunately, Kakashi was horny as a hormonal schoolboy and took this as sign that Iruka was up for it, pushing himself further onto the chuunin. Iruka growled and attempted to escape Kakashi's grip, finally squirming out his arms and storming to the other end of the cupboard.  
  
"Kakashi, this CAN'T happen here! I'm sick of telling you!"  
  
"And why not, pray tell?" He clasped his hands behind his back and leaned closer to Iruka, one eyebrow raised in mock curiosity. Iruka knew he was just trying to annoy him. Never in a million years would he admit it, but he was succeeding.  
  
"Just - just because! I mean, what if someone was to walk in here? What if the children heard us?"  
  
Kakashi rubbed his chin, pretending to think which made Iruka wish actual bodily harm on him. "If someone walked in here, I'd be VERY impressed in your teaching skills! That's some fine ninjas you're coaching, seeing as I locked the door. And as for the children hearing us, I would again be impressed because they're all outside!" His eye formed a happy little arch as he grinned under his mask. He walked forwards again, putting his hands on the shelves behind Iruka and pinning him to them. "And besides," he whispered, sliding his knee between Iruka's legs, "Doesn't the risk of getting caught turn you on?" His lips pressed against Iruka's ear, sending little shivers of pleasure down his neck.  
  
_Damn you Kakashi! Why do you have to be so hard to resist!  
_  
_**I need to let go...**_  
  
"No, no it doesn't!" he gasped as Kakashi's tongue worked little circles against his exposed neck. "I just can't run the risk of losing my reputation! It's almost all I have - OW! - Besides you, of course!" he added as sharp teeth bit into his flesh. Kakashi raised his head and looked Iruka in the eyes, his own heavy-lidded and mournful.  
  
"But Iruka-koi, I just can't resist you. Just looking at you on the practice field, the way the sunlight glazed your perfect skin," he raised a hand and placed his hand on Iruka's cheek and stroked it softly. Iruka sighed softly and nuzzled Kakashi's hand. A little voice inside him stomped its metaphorical foot and shouted at him to resist, be strong! _He's only trying to butter you up!_ But Iruka was having a hard time listening to anything but Kakashi's low, soft voice. "I just couldn't wait. I just wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to run my hands through your hair." He reached up further and before Iruka knew it, he had removed the chuunin's hitai-ate and hair band, sliding his fingers through the thick swathes of hair that fell to his shoulders. Tugging it gently, he moved his face closer to Iruka's, his lips just grazing the chuunin's nose. His words came out accompanied by short jabs of warm air that tickled Iruka but he was so entranced by Kakashi's small tugs on his hair that he barely noticed. "But your eyes were always my weakness, Iruka-kun. Soft as velvet and twice as beautiful." Their eyes locked as Kakashi trailed his lips across the scar on Iruka's nose. "I lose a little more restraint every time you look at me." Iruka trembled, lowering his head when Kakashi removed his mouth as a red flush ran across his cheeks. "Iruka-koi? Don't go all bashful on me now!" Kakashi laughed softly. "I know full well you're not the shy retiring type you like to make yourself out to be!"  
  
"It's not that, Kakashi-kun." Iruka whispered. "I'm just - I'm sorry that I can't let go. Not even for you."  
  
Kakashi removed his hand from the tangled brown threads on Iruka's hair and took hold of the chuunin's chin, tilting it up until their eyes met again.  
  
"Not even for me? Are you sure about that?" His stare was so intense Iruka didn't even notice the hand running down his body until it settled at the waistband of his trousers. "But I love you." he whispered.  
  
"I know, and I love you too, but yes, Kakashi, I'm suUUURE!" His voice rose as Kakashi's hand took a firm grip of the chuunin's crotch. Kakashi's expression changed from sullen to what Iruka could only describe as sadistic. He tugged sharply and Iruka's breath hitched in the back of his throat.  
  
_**I need to let go...**_  
  
"Kak-AHH-shiiii I ca-NN-'t," he gasped as the jounin's actions became a bit more forceful.  
  
"Yes you can, Iruka! Come on, it wont hurt! And if we get caught you can just say I took advantage of you!" he grinned wickedly and licked his lips. Iruka sighed resignedly and slid the zip down on his vest, shrugging it off before doing the same with Kakashi's. _What the hell, why not? Like he said, the door's locked, the kids are outside. No one'll ever know..._

Famous last words.  
  
_**I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride...**_  
  
"Okay, okay, you big kid. Just this once! And don't take all day about it."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll make it quick!" he smiled at the chuunin as he slipped his sweater off.  
  
"Don't you always..." Iruka murmured.  
  
It was 15 sweaty minutes later that, while Kakashi was in the middle of doing something very clever with his fingers that had Iruka ready to melt into a pile of mush, that the younger ninja heard scuffling noises then the happy chatter of a classroom filling with children. Iruka looked from Kakashi to the door and back to Kakashi wildly. He clapped his hand to his mouth as a small moan escaped. _OHMYGODWHATIFTHEYHEARDTHAT?!_ Iruka was convinced his heart was beating loud enough for it to be heard in the next village! He gave the still-oblivious Kakashi's shoulder a shake and whispered furiously, "Kakashi, Kakashi! They're back!"  
  
The Jounin paid him no heed.  
  
Iruka grabbed a handful of hair and pulled as hard as he could, which turned out to be the wrong move as the older shinobi cried, "OW! WHAT DIDYA DO THAT FOR? THAT HURT!" he glared at Iruka who was wild-eyed and staring, pointing at the cupboard door with one finger while the other was pressed to his lips in the universal sign for 'shut the hell up you freaking idiot!' He watched Kakashi follow his finger with a puzzled expression before the sound filtered into his resolutely one-track mind. A faint look of realization dawned on his pale features, followed by an evil grin.  
  
"They're back! You better get out there Iruka! Can't keep the kiddies waiting!"  
  
If looks could kill Kakashi would have exploded.  
  
Iruka grabbed his discarded clothes, frantically trying to sort his from Kakashi's while his lover stood with an idiotic grin on his face. _Oh THATS right, laugh it up why don'tcha?_ He threw Kakashi's sweater at him wishing he had time to strangle the Jounin with it, cursing under his breath a few times as he struggled to fasten his belt. _STUPID CLOTHES! IS IT COMPULSORY FOR THEM TO BE SO DAMN DIFFICULT?!_ He KNEW he shouldn't have let himself be sweet-talked! Damn that Kakashi! He ALWAYS gets me in trouble! As he zipped his vest up and glanced behind his shoulder to make sure Kakashi had actually got dressed and not decided to "out" him to his entire class by striding around in his underwear declaring Iruka the best lay he'd ever had, he took a few last deep breaths and repeated a small mantra:  
  
_Stay calm, act natural, stay calm, act natural._  
  
He threw the bolt back on the door (_Who the hell puts locks on the INSIDE of cupboard doors anyway? If I ever find them I'm gonna -_), and walked out into a classroom of strange looks. He could tell his face was bright red and that Kakashi still had that infuriating grin under his mask. He smiled weakly and walked over to his desk, trying desperately to stop his legs shaking and grabbing the edge to stop himself from keeling over completely. He couldn't stop fretting over whether or not the children had heard anything. A boy in the second row raised his hand and Iruka's insides completely vanished, the void filling with lead. _Here it comes. "Iruka- sensei, what were those strange noises coming from the cupboard? Why were you shouting Kakashi-sensei's name?" and I'll be hit with therapist bills from all the parents who say I've scarred their child for life!  
_  
He gulped and prayed fervently he hadn't started sweating. "Y-yes? What i-i- is it?"  
  
The child lowered his hand and piped, "Why were you and Kakashi-sensei in the cupboard?"  
  
Oh, the joy of childish innocence.  
  
Iruka turned to Kakashi as though searching for an answer there. _Yeah right, I'd get more sense from things that live at the bottom of the lake_. Finding nothing but an enraging smirk and a little wave that confirmed this, he faced the class again and cleared his throat.  
  
"Ahh, wEll yOU see nOw," his voice breaking as he spoke, "I was, umm, clearing up and cOUldnnn't reach the she-shelf the box went on, and Ka-ka- ka-kakashi-sensei was kind enough to hELP me!" He grinned feebly as he reached the end of his sentence. His smile became a little desperate and strained as he looked out at the sea of faces, not one of them looking convinced in the slightest. The boy spoke again.  
  
"But sensei, you're a ninja so couldn't you just -"  
  
"WELL IF THAT'S EVERYTHING we'll just be getting on with this afternoon's lesson shall we?!" Iruka almost screamed, silencing the child and making every other small body shrink back in their seat. "I'll just see KAKASHI- SENSEI to the DOOR." he turned to the jounin and placed both hands on his back, practically pushing him out the door. Kakashi gave the kids a wave and allowed himself to be manhandled to the doorway. Iruka opened his mouth to tell Kakashi he would see him later. He never did tell Kakashi this though, as a hand wrapped itself in the fabric of his vest and hauled him out the classroom into the hallway, pinning him to the wall thus rendering him momentarily speechless. Iruka looked madly from left to right. "Kakashi! Let me go, someone could come along any minute! Come on, you had your fun, now - " Kakashi cut him off by fastening their lips together. Iruka mumbled and fought against the intrusion of Kakashi's tongue but the Jounin was too strong for him. Then, just on the edge of his hearing, Iruka could swear he heard.  
  
_VOICES?!  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!_  
  
He thrashed madly, wrenching at Kakashi's hair with both hands and all but punching him in the gut but alas, it was all to no avail, and their lips were still locked when Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Genma and Hayate walked around the corner and came face to face with the two kissing shinobi, their happy conversation dying on their lips. _Well Hell, why didn't they just bring the ENTIRE village with them?! Kurenai's the biggest gossip in Konoha and the only thing in the world bigger than Gai's mouth is the Hokage monument, and thats only by oooh, I dunno, about TWO INCHES?!!_ Iruka could do nothing but stare helplessly at the group, the agonising silence finally broken by a tinkling noise signalling the needle slipping from Genma's mouth and the fwooshing of the sheaf of folders falling from Kurenai's arms. Everyone of them to a man (and woman!) were gawping, mouths wide, as Kakashi finally disengaged himself from the chuunin and turned to face the group. Kurenai, her hands in front of her eyes, was peeping at them disbelievingly through her fingers while Gai stood behind her with his jaw scraping the linoleum floor. Asuma and Genma were both just staring, Asuma's cigarette stuck damply to his bottom lip and Hayate was crouched behind them now, both hands clamped to his mouth to suppress a fit of giggles.  
  
Iruka waved his hands and stammered, "It's not what you think! Honestly, it's not!! We were just - we were just -" Realising he couldn't talk his way out of THIS one and that it was pretty damn obvious what they were JUST doing, he trailed off as Kakashi slung a nonchalant arm around his shoulder, almost knocking him over in the process, and grinned at their friends.  
  
"Hey guys! We were just doing what any normal couple does! Asuma, Kurenai, don't pretend YOU'VE never kissed each other in these hallowed halls in all the time you've been together! And please, close your mouths - you're catching flies." He peered over Kurenai's shoulder at the stricken Gai, whose eyes were in dire danger of ending up on the floor along with his chin. "And Gai, my eternal rival! Looks like I beat you at something else! I found love before you! I think that makes the score nine each!" Gai stammered something that MIGHT have been 'G-g-good for y-y-ou' but Iruka couldn't hear properly for the flurry of voices in his head, each acting out a different Kakashi-torture fantasy. None of them seemed enough for Iruka. Boiling oil would have been too good. Chinese water torture would have been too good. Needles under his FINGERNAILS would be too good! Freaking FISHHOOKS in his SCROTUM was STILL waaaay off the mark! Iruka was looking forward to sitting up loooooong into the night dreaming of all the ways he could destroy Hatake Kakashi's life.  
  
Meanwhile, the aforementioned Hatake Kakashi casually removed his arm from Iruka's shoulders and made as though to walk towards the group of stricken colleagues, who all took a collective step back. Kakashi giggled, which to Iruka's ears sounded just a little manic (or rather, just a little more manic than usual), and turned to the doorway. Five pairs of eyes followed him as he swaggered past Iruka, slapping him hard on the ass and calling loudly, "I'll be home for dinner, honey! See you then!", as he disappeared into the hazy sunshine. The eyes swivelled back to Iruka.  
  
_Oh Lord just take me now. Pretty please? Or could the ground maybe open up and swallow me, if it's not too much trouble?  
_  
Unfortunately for Iruka, neither of these things happened. Instead, what happened was a small voice rising from somewhere near the ground behind Iruka, saying, "Iruka-sensei? Hitomi-chan saw you and Kakashi-sensei kissing. Does that mean he's your boyfriend?"  
  
Iruka closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath before he slowly turned around, staring down at the same little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy that had asked why they were in the cupboard. An eyebrow twitched furiously as he fought to hold his tongue. He hated children. They are the hideously malformed offspring of the Uberlord of the deepest reaches of Hell and the most wart-ridden witch your average evil forest usually vomits up after breakfast. Becoming a teacher was the worst idea he had ever had. Whatever had posessed him? He could have been enjoying an easy, hassle-free job like being the Hokages personal tongue-scraper, or Konohas resident dung-shoveller! He opened and closed his mouth a few times, imitating the expressions of the frozen jounins perfectly. Then suddenly, pretty white stars flashed in front of his eyes. He watched as the scenery around him became seriously tilted. _Has...something gone wrong here? Oh no, wait, I'm just fai - _The stars imploded into themselves, merging into one complete surrounding blackness as his legs folded beneath him and he slumped onto the floor in a dead faint, his last thought being a vision of his perfect, untarnished reputation going up in flames, and Kakashi toasting marshmallows over the resulting bonfire.

* * *

aww poor ruru-chan!! whatever will that nasty kakashi do next? stay tuned to find out! -


	4. IMPORTANT NOTICE!

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

this is for the attention of all those who read my stories. due to computer-fuck-up-age, i have lost my stories. every chapter, both posted and NOT YET POSTED, of Too Lost In You, Echo, and Immortalizing The Moment, gone. I know the posted ones arent very important, but this means i cannot update. yes i know my updating is sporadic at the best of times and some of them havent been updated in months, but im afraid that more delays are to be expected while i retype my lost chapters. In the meantime, im putting ALL current fanfics on hiatus until i see if i can recover my lost material, but, on the plus side, i have decided to start a new one that i was planning on leaving until my current ones are finished. do not fear, they will ALL be finished!! i promise not to leave you hanging!!! thanks for being so patient and sticking by me despite my inability to update regularly. i hope y'all will still be there when i get back on my feet!

keep on truckin!

b4k4chan


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